[-] Fume Cupboard FacilityLOADED: GLOSSARY

[-] Glossary: Oily Ruler

Oily Ruler

It doesn't matter what this means.


Oh, you don't get it. Okay, I'll define it, although it's a beautiful exercise in futility.

Properly, a scientific term, describing a certain class of solutions to problems. Problems of any kind can be addressed in these terms, mainly because it is impossible to verify how effective the solution is. The solution can hence be viewed as perfect - a happy achievement.

There are three main forms of the O.R, although from the point of view of the experimenter, they are the same. The Oily Ruler Minor works by causing total destruction to the experimenter, the experiment, and basically anything else in range. This is clearly highly desirable, as it solves all your problems.

The Oily Ruler Major, by contrast, clarifies the current area of interest by annihilating the universe. This excellently solves everyone's problems. Finally, the Oily Ruler Pure solves all possible problems that exist, ever did exist, or will exist in the future, by retroactively destroying the universe before it ever began. The reader will agree that you cannot really ask for more!

As a moment's thought will indicate, no stage above Minor has yet been attempted, presumably due to the lack of professional tools. Luckily, I don't need to worry about updating this page if the situation changes - it won't matter!


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